...her {LEGACY}

Today is mother's day!  I have the privelege of being Ethan and Nyah's mother and it is JOY for me.  Just like all moms, I have my days where this work that I am doing exhausts me, breaks my heart a little here and there, and stretches me like nothing else.   Even so,..I LOVE being a mom and sincerely thank God every day for my children!  I adore them.  I learn so much from them.  One of my greatest hopes is that I am for them,....what my own mother was for me. 

Mother's Day is a bitter, sweet day for me....

I never imagined that I would be a mom,...without my mom.   I remember when Marty and I were trying to build our family and were undergoing fertility treatments and procedures.  She was my biggest cheerleader and let me know with all confidence that I would someday have that privilege.  Oh,..how I wish she could be here to experience this with me.  I think I would call her,...daily even...just to get her counsel and support.  I know that Ethan and Nyah would adore her and would want to be with her all the time.  I think I would say things to her and let her know that I never meant to take her for granted and now that I am a mother......I would want her to know how much she means to me and how much it meant to me that SHE was MY mom.  I would let her know that everything she did,..never went unnoticed and that I payed attention to the ways she loved people and served.  I would just want to be near her.  I would need her.

For now,...until I see my mom again, I hold quiet conversations with her in my heart.  I often contemplate what she would do in certain situations.  I feel her influence and her love in passing moments which I consider to be sacred.  I see bits of her in each of my sisters and for that I am so grateful.  Her legacy lives in each us. 

Ethan and Nyah know that Grandma in Heaven will always be a part of us.  They love her.  I love her.   I miss.....her. 

 Happy Mothers Day,... my dearest Mom!